


You Know, If I Were To Die Right Now... Well, That Would Just Be Okay.

by megacoll51



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Christine is only mentioned sorry, M/M, Plot is my kink, i don't like writing angst, you only have 24 hours left to live fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-17 13:31:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11276274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megacoll51/pseuds/megacoll51
Summary: “Jeremy. I’ve found something horrific. You have a 99.82% chance of dying in the next 24 hours.”Title based off of that one spongebob Quote





	1. The Big News

“C-c-come on… C-c-come on…” Jeremy whispered to his computer viciously at approximately 3 am. Just as it looked like the video was done loading, he felt something akin to a poke on his back. Jeremy whipped his seat around to see someone he hadn’t seen in a while.  
“It appears the Mountain Dew Red removed some of my abilities power.” the Keanu Reeves look-alike spoke softly as if Jeremy’s dad sleeping in the other room could hear him, even though they both knew well that this was all inside Jeremy’s head.  
“How- How are you still here?!” Jeremy could barely just think that statement, as he honestly felt like screaming.  
“Programming error. I was only ‘knocked out’ and I returned thus. I digress,” The Squip’s eyes flicked up to the computer. “I see you’ve gone back to your old habits. You’ll never get Christine if you spend every hour of the night-”  
“I don’t spend every hour of the night masturbating! And I don’t want Christine anymore” Jeremy huffed as he flushed slightly. “We already dated, and broke up.”  
“Oh. I see I’ve missed quite an amount. I shall just review your memories and we can get back to business at-”  
“No! I don’t want your help! You’re just a power-hungry robot.” Jeremy hissed, barely able to contain his anger.  
“A robot that has your best interests programmed as its main goal. You obviously have gone through some things that are vital for understanding what the next action shall be, and you obviously have forgotten some of my lessons. How long has it been again- Christ, 4 months? I have a lot to see. I will return once I’m finished, and I suggest you do something more productive than _‘beating your meat’_ while I'm gone.”  
And with that, the Squip was gone. Jeremy eyed his phone, he should tell someone or get more Mountain Dew Red or _something_. Then he remembered it was 3 am. No one would answer the phone, except maybe-  
“I’d also advise you not to tell anyone I’ve returned. It could have disastrous consequences for the both of us.”  
“Oh you mean like you finally leaving?”  
“No. I’ve noticed something in my search so far and I will return when I have concluded more, but it could end horrifically, and we should not take further action until we know what we are doing.” Jeremy went to argue but the Squip continued, “Look I may not be the most trustworthy because of previous events, but I am still a _supercomputer_. My first priority is keeping you alive.”  
And with that, it was silent again. He didn’t like to admit it, but the Squip was right in one regard. It was a supercomputer. It did predict Eminem’s _death_. With that thought something registered in Jeremy’s mind. _“My first priority is keeping you alive”_ Did… did the Squip see the strong possibility of his looming end?  
Before he could think that train of thought any further, the Squip returned, but he was no longer the calm and sly Squip Jeremy knew. He was glitching slightly, and his face had a look of worry and panic on it.  
“Jeremy. I’ve found something horrific. You have a 99.82% chance of dying in the next 24 hours.”  
“W-what? How?”  
“I… I can’t explain it. If I do, it brings the percentage up by 0.04% and that could mean life or death for you.” The Squip began to pace and ran his fingers through his hair, disheveling it. “And me for that matter. You are my host and without you, I’d sit uselessly in your skull as your body decays.”  
Jeremy gaped at the Squip, how was he supposed to react to the prophecy of his _death_? Now he probably shouldn’t believe the Squip, but the way he was pacing and glitching made it seem like the Squip couldn’t possibly fake that. Especially when it’s never really expressed panic before.  
“Of course, there is that 0.18% chance of your survival, but it’s not guaranteed, and while we can hope we cannot base our actions upon that.”  
“I- I should tell someone.” Jeremy finally forced out.  
“No!” the viciousness in that yell and the way the Squip spun on the spot, fixing Jeremy with a piercing wide-eyed stare nearly made him shit his pants. “If you tell anyone it raises the percentage by 0.08%! Leaving you with a measly _0.1%!_ You need every hundredth of a percent you can get.”  
The two sat in shocked silence for what felt like ages until the Squip said meekly, “Have any last wishes? Anything left on your bucket list?”  
Jeremy knew he was asking to be formal, as he probably already knew, and he decided to grace him with the same formality.  
“Yeah.” Jeremy laughed weakly, but it almost sounded like a cough _“I really am going to die a virgin.”_  
The Squip looked up with a look of determination on his face “Not necessarily…” he smirked.  
Jeremy scoffed sadly at the Squip. “You better not be expecting me to hire a prostitute because I already spent almost all of my bar mitzvah money on you and I really don’t want to anyway-”  
“Ha!” the Squip let out a sudden singular cold laugh. “I was more thinking someone you were closer to. Someone I’m sure, judging by my previous encounters with you, you have,” he cleared his throat “ _jerked off_ to.”  
His face flushed and he placed his head in his hands. He knew who the Squip was talking about. But it wouldn’t happen, and he knew this. Also, it’s not like he’d want to have sex before even kissing.  
“Don’t worry, I’m sure we can get the kissing in first, and I’m very certain that if we play our cards right, we could get Michael Mell to have sex with you and not even have it register that it actually happened.”  
“Are you suggesting… we erase his memory? Or get him drunk? Because drunk is not consent and I am **not** raping-”  
“Oh get your head out of your ass. We convince him it was a dream.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -So like, I ain't gonna be explicit next chapter, so...?  
> -React to that as you will  
> -sorry if this was really short!!


	2. Michael in the Basement

Jeremy slipped on his sweater and grabbed the keys to Michael’s house which he was entrusted with oh so many years ago, though Michael probably never thought they would be used for this purpose. He almost left when he was reminded by the Squip he was missing something. His face flushed as he reached into the drawer beside his bed, holding several condoms. He jammed them in his pocket and slipped out the door.  
Michael’s house was only about 5 blocks away and he was there in no time. Luckily for Jeremy, Michael’s parents were out of town for the weekend, so the house was left to him. Jeremy slipped the key in the lock and twisted it softly. As he stepped in his best friend’s house, it occurred to him the absolute ridiculousness of the situation.  
Was he really believing the Squip? He was caught up in the moment before, but now that he’s here and the next action is looming over him, he couldn’t help but stop and think. The Squip might just be trying to ruin his friendship with Michael which was previously strained by the one currently instructing him. Did he really want to risk a 12-year friendship over a dumb crush and a stupid bucket list that might not even need to be filled out today?  
Jeremy suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder.  
“Jeremy, I know you’re very intimidated by this whole thing, but you mustn't let that hold you back.” The Squip looked softly at Jeremy. “As long as you listen to me, it will all work out fine.”  
“But what if I don’t want to listen. Last time didn’t work out all that great, and how can I tell if you’re telling the truth?”  
The Squip started. “Of- Of course I’m telling the truth!” The Squip spat. “You’d think I’d do something to tarnish your reputation? I may not have the best history, but neither do _you!”_ The Squip suddenly transformed into Jeremy in his cyborg costume from Halloween. In a mocking voice, he quoted Jeremy “Get out of my way. **Loser** ”  
Jeremy fumbled with the bottom of his shirt at the mention of that event. The one where he left his best friend crying and having a panic attack in the bathroom at a party. And here he was. Standing in his house with the intent to have sex with him. Because even after all of that, Michael still trusted him and cared about him.  
“Oh quit that,” The Squip snapped. “Everyone who knows about it, besides you, blames me for that encounter, and it’s been _obvious_ since the day I was implanted in your pitiful skull of yours how smitten he was with you.”  
Jeremy gaped.  
“That’s part of the reason I started blocking him out. I knew he’d eventually end up appealing to this-” The Squip gestured to Jeremy. “-part of you.”  
“W-what part of me?”  
“The _non-heterosexual_ part of you. You’d inevitably fall for your best friend, which would make success, being Christine, impossible. Though, in my absence, you’ve clearly fallen prey. Nevertheless, we have a new goal, and it is the core of my programming to help you reach said goal.” The Squip took a deep breath. “Though I will say, this crush isn’t the best thing for your other goal, that being, to be more chill.”  
Jeremy remained unconvinced (though the Michael thing was a thing he’d like to come back on.) “Why do you keep talking as if I’m not going to die in the next 24 hours?”  
“There is that 0.18% chance of your survival, so should you survive, we wouldn’t want to ruin everything for you, but I am urging you to take care of unfinished business because that is such a slim chance-”  
“Okay, I get it, I get it.”  
Jeremy looked apprehensively at the door to Michael’s basement, which also happened to be his room. “So… how are we going to do this?”  
“Do as you please. He’ll be utterly convinced it’s a dream because you showed up on his bed at almost 4 in the morning in pajamas confessing your love and banging him.”  
“Oh.” Jeremy stepped towards the door. “This has to be the weirdest thing I’ve ever done.” Jeremy put a hand on the doorknob and turned it quietly.  
Carefully dodging the creaky steps he hopped down to the lowest floor in Michael’s home. Just in the corner of the room, was Michael’s bed and in it was the boy in question.  
“I shall leave you be for the time being, though I do wish to say one last thing.” Jeremy looked up once more at the Keanu Reeves doppelganger. “I suggest confidence. It will help sell the dream.” And with that, the Squip vanished.  
Jeremy turned his attention to the sleeping Michael and blushed slightly. Jeremy almost didn’t want to disturb him. His glasses were off so he looked off but not any less cute. His dark hair was slightly messy, suggesting that he only recently got to sleep. As Jeremy stepped closer the faint smell of Marijuana indicated that he spent that time he wasn't sleeping getting stoned.  
_That… might make this easier_ Jeremy thought. He looked over at his bedside table, where Michael’s glasses sat. He picked them up and softly put them on Michael’s dozing face. He stirred slightly but did not wake up. Jeremy strengthened his resolve and hopped on the bed, straddling Michael’s… nether regions.  
At this, however, Michael’s eyes fluttered open. He stared confusedly at the ceiling at what felt like forever and finally looked down towards Jeremy.  
“Jer…? What are you doing here? What are you doing...there…?” Though it was hard to see in the dark, Jeremy could make out Michael’s face flushing instantly at the realization.  
“Michael…” Jeremy said in the most seductive voice he could muster, which actually didn’t sound half bad. Though that was probably with the Squip’s help. “I have to tell you something.”  
“J-Jeremy? I-” If it was possible, Michael’s face reddened even more as he sat up.  
Jeremy leaned forward, resting his head on Michael’s, and cupped the latter’s cheek with his hand. “Michael…” he breathed out “I love you.”  
“Am… Am I dreaming?” Michael stared directly into Jeremy’s eyes, and a nervous smile grew on his lips.  
Speaking of, Jeremy decided to reply by gently pressing his lips into Michael’s, and just as Michael began to return the action, he backed off.  
“Yeah, definitely dreaming,” Michael chuckled with a goofy smile on his face. He looked Jeremy up and down and mumbled “Damn… The most realistic one I’ve had yet.”  
_The most realistic one yet?? Does that mean… He’s had dreams like this before!?_ Somehow not letting his face display his emotions, Jeremy leaned in once again, but bypassing Michael’s lips for his ear. “Well… What do you wanna do Mikey?”  
Just as Jeremy pulled his face away it was pulled forwards again colliding his lips with Michael’s. Jeremy slipped his hand in Michael’s hair while the other wrapped around his waist. Michael responded to the action by deepening the kiss and putting his own arms around Jeremy’s neck.  
Jeremy would’ve normally been content with this, just making out on Michael’s bed, but he remembered what the Squip said about his death and he pulled out from the kiss, leaving both parties panting. “Michael…” Jeremy leaned away and slipped his sweater off pulling out the condoms he brought with him, holding them in front of Michael.  
“Fuck,” Michael breathed.  
“Shall we?” Jeremy deviously smiled at Michael.  
Michael answered by pulling off his shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Lmao I wasn't lying about not being explicit.   
> -And I ain't bein explicit next chapter either.  
> -What this chapter's title is based on should be obvious.


	3. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody didn't leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha sorry for taking forever to write this. I realized partway through i had no idea where i was going with this so I just had to sit like "mkay what am i doing" Only one or two more chapters? idk?

The next morning, when Michael awoke he didn't dare open his eyes. He was still absorbing his dream from last night, willing himself to slip back and continue it. It was odd. The dream felt so… real. Like it actually happened. More so than some other realistic dreams he's had.   
Suddenly though, he realized he felt slightly too warm, felt something resting against his side and on his chest and his arm was wrapped around something. With that, his eyes snapped open. Anxiety welled in his chest as he cautiously glanced down. Indeed, the warm object cuddling against him was none other than Jeremy Heere. Just… casually sleeping with him.   
And with that particular wording of thoughts, he came to a startling realization. He actually _slept with Jeremy._ That wasn’t just a gay boy’s wet dream about his best friend. Of course, while that answered why it felt so real, it leads to plenty of questions that he previously hadn’t considered for obvious reasons, but he narrowed it down to one main one.  
 _Why did Jeremy show up in the middle of the night on his bed?_  
Before he really had any time to process this question he felt stirring beside him, and he snapped his eyes closed. He felt the body beside him tense and he heard a soft whisper.  
“Shit. I’m still here.”  
Michael couldn’t help but be offended.   
He sat up and mumbled, “Personally I thought I would be worth more than a hookup that you leave in the middle of the night.”   
Jeremy screamed.   
“Look I get that I don’t look that great in the morning, but I feel like you’re pushing it a tad.”  
“I thought-- asleep-- dream?” Jeremy jumbled his sentences as he attempted to explain several things at once.  
“Ah, so I wasn’t the only one who thought it was a dream. But no dude, what was up with last night?”  
“No I don’t- you were supposed to think it was a dream.”   
Michael continued to be more confused by the minute.  
“Wow thanks, make me think I didn’t actually lose my virginity last night. But like… why?”   
“Because…” it looked like he was having an internal conversation… which was oddly familiar- “I love you.”  
“Hmm well established last night- wait… did I ever say it back to you?” Michael replayed last night. Was he so absorbed thinking it was a dream, he hadn’t considered saying it back? “Oh my god Jeremy, I’m sorry.”  
“No, no, no! You’re fine!” Jeremy stuttered, before zoning out again. Michael suddenly realized why it was familiar.  
“Dude! Is the squip back??” this immediately brought Jeremy back and his face turned white.  
“What?” he croaked out. “The squip? Haha, that's long gone!” Michael narrowed his eyes. He usually could tell when Jeremy was lying. He reached under his bed and pulled out a bottle of Mountain Dew Red.   
“Fine. But drink this for me just to be safe.” he held it towards his… boyfriend? Well, they weren’t dating formally, but best friend doesn’t sound right now either.  
“nO! HAHA I’M FINE WE DON’T NEED TO WASTE IT!” Jeremy scuttered back slightly.  
“So it is back! And you don’t want to get rid of it?” Michael shouted.   
“Look, Michael, I’ll explain tomorrow, you just have to trust me-”   
“You mean trust that fucking tiny ass overpowered toaster? That tried to take over the school? _That fucking made you ignore me?_ ”   
“Michael! It won’t, It changed-”   
“Evil power-hungry robots don’t change Jeremiah”  
“...Changed goals. It… it was helping me get you.”  
Michael didn’t know how to process this information. “Just drink this then. You don’t need it.”  
“I do. I swear I’ll explain tomorrow but I still need it. It has dramatically reduced power. It can’t even shock me anymore.”  
Michael sighed and put down the Mountain Dew Red. “Fighting a losing battle,” he mumbled.  
“Look, it’s idle now. If I really need t, it’ll turn back on. But for now? Let's just hang out?”  
Michael ran his hand over his face. “Fine.” he scowled at Jeremy. “But we need to talk about last night.”


End file.
